I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
