someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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