Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
do herpes really smell.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
