So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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