I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
