i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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