That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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