Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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