Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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