I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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