Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
