So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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