Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
