On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
