their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
