He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
