Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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