i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
