my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
