Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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