She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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