This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
