I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
