he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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