Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
