people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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