you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
