She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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