PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
