He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
