worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
