he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He passed out mid-signature
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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