he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize