You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
