I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
