Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
