is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
