I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
