How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
