me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize