man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
