it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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