Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
