Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
