so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
