I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
