this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
