69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize