She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
