They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
