if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
