alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize