You did a strip tease for the toilet.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
