Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
