She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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