you win again, gameday.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
