This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My vagina is very pro this idea
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
