There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
