I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
