There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My nipple is on Facebook.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
