maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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