Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
