it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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