I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
